The Scariest Place On Earth.

[Dislike clowns]

Several months ago, when my girlfriend found out that I don't like clowns; she told me about a place located somewhere near Martinsville, Indiana, USA.

Clown Heaven

What is it you ask? Imagine 3 barns, connected in an "H"; painted yellow, with white fluffy clouds. 1 foot tall letters proclaiming it's evil name for all to see. And ofcourse, a cheap arrow sign trailer with the plastic letters.

I have an old digital image of it on my laptop, and once I know if the galleries are back up, I'm going to send it in for submission to the "scary clowns" gallery.

Current intellegence shows that they have 2 employees, with 1 more as backup. I don't know about anybody else, but I think they've got other clowns there. How many can they cram into a super-compact car?

I'm going to be going there sometime this summer with a camera to document this horrid find. I don't know if it should be an official SCM sanctioned mission, or if I should even wear my IHateClowns 'colors'. I don't know how the clowns would react to me to begin with; but, if I show that I associate myself with someplace like IHC, I would be fairly sure they would be more likely to harass me.

I need options, and I need opinions. I want to hear from as many members of: SCM, CRF, IHC (ofcourse), every other anti-cl0wn group, and even feedback from the GRA!

[Rodney]

[Larry]

A small anti clown tactical weapon could take that hell house out! :evil:

[witchiepoo]

Yes, but I think we should send someone inside first to find out what's inside...
We don't want to kill hundreads of children do we.

How about sending Rosco in undercover so he can tell as all the horror so we can better prepare ourselves for the attack?

[Larry]

Good idea. But Rosco needs to ensure the children have not been taken over by the clown sickness. They may need to be deprogramed.

[SwineFairy]

AHHHHH!
*claire hides*

[Man_From_UNCLE]

There is also the danger of Rosco having his mind altered by such close exposure to the grease-painted scum! I shudder to think of the cost of de-programming a pro-clown Rosco! :shock:

DC, where is Martinsville in relation to Indy and/or Ft. Wayne?

[Larry]

Clown deprogramming must be intensive. I just guessing but it must be a very strong mental cult thing. Any who fail the deprogramming must be erased to prevent the spread of clown filth.

[Dislike clowns]

An anti-clownie tactical stike would definately work, but we would loose any intellegence of what they might have hidden in that house. If I find out that there's one place their plans for global domination were written down, and it just happened to be that one... Plus there's never a way to find out if they are *actually* funny or good clowns after the giant whoopie-cushion sound. (See referances: Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussen. Are they still around but in hiding, or are they really gone?)

There's going to be much intel to be gathered there. Good or bad, we will learn what they're doing. My girlfriend has been in that place once, and said they seem to be a pretty lame store that sells the standard clownie / magic paraphenelia... But with it's location, I suspect something more sinister would be required to keep it operating. You can't have a store with such a limited draw in the middle of nowhere outside of a fairly small town.

If you guys think that a Squirty Chicken can be brainwashed to the greasy side, I think you must have forgotten the big battle to liberate them. Or perhaps the intense hatred all squirty chickens still carry for the grease-painted ones. I know the boards were down for a while, but it's a fundimental thing to remeber when dealing with these guys.

MFU, on my map; Martinsville is about 3 inches south-southwest of Indianapolis, IN. So let's call it 25-40 miles outside of Indy.

:o SCM :o

[ClwnHatinCanuck]

Go get 'em, DC!

I'll be uh... Over here watching. *Hides behind computer chair* :oops:

[witchiepoo]

Let me know if I can help at all dc.

[Sphinxie_Hates_Clowns]

This place is in INDIANA??!!? I live in Indiana! I hope to GOD I never have to go to Martinsville, ever!! Stupid clowns.... (kicks clowns with steel toed boot, then runs screaming away when it looks at her)

Sphinxie hates clowns.

[Larry]

I can be in Indiana within 8 hours, call me. :o

[Man_From_UNCLE]

DC,

I've got some vacation time this year. I wouldn't mind taking a day-trip to Indy. Maybe you could show me the sites some 25-40 miles S-SW of there.

For real! What's your summer schedule look like?

:o C.R.F. :o

[Dislike clowns]

Larry, MFU, Witchy, and anybody else that wants to come,

Call ahead and we can schedule something. I'll give you days/times you can come here, and I'll be waiting to pick you up at Indianaplis International Airport. I'd be the guy in the white IHC shirt waiting by your gate.

My summer is kinda booked through the week with classes. Stupid FAA doesn't give the summer off when you're training. *sighs* Oh well, atleast I graduate in Febuary. Then I get to be unemployed for a while!

:o SCM :o

[Man_From_UNCLE]

8) I'd do the road trip deal. It's only about 5 hours to Indy, plus it would be cool to check out some new roads! 8)

[witchiepoo]

I wish I had the time and money to just be able to fly over and join you on such an exciting quest... or just meet you all really... but unfortunatly things like rent and food make life hard. :?

[128]

Clown Heaven? WTF, sounds more like Clown Hell. Sorta wish I hadn't read this Post....I might have nightmares about it now. I agree with all who want to take it out. :lol:

~peace to all clown haters :wink:

[Dislike clowns]

128,
Sorry about that, did you miss the warning? "The Scariest Place on Earth" I kinda thought it might tip everybody off that it was a little weird, a little creapy, and scarier than anything.

What's hell to us, is heaven to a clown.
-
It'll be fun, we can make a weekend out of it. meet up saturday, head out there and make another recon of the place, figure out a strategy, camp out and tell clown stories, storm the place the next morning, capture the building, mop up the last of their resistance, and get everybody back home in time for work on monday.

[Parallax]

I say nuke the hellhole til it glows!! :evil: The head clown who runs the dump is mine! :o

[klownsniper]

I live in indiana i can be there in half an hour. I'm movin. :o

[DownWithTheClowns]

you know what i've found out?? fire can be very fun!! :lol: so maybe one of u braver IHC members can visit there and "accidently" play with fire late at nite when nobody will be there. no need to worry about the children :wink: only thinkin about the "heaven" goin down in flames :twisted: heeheehee

[clowns arent funny]

A lit match should do the trick,with all theose rainbow wigs,yeah a match should do it,but hey if you want to make sure just nuke it...


Chris

[King_Louie]

Maybe for the farmers among us: try driving your tractor through that scrapheap. Or twice, if you will. I know I like breaking things with tractors... :D

:o

[mx5_boy]

:x


Oooooeersss.

Count me in, mx will be there with a backpack full of molotovs.

The creators of that disgraceful clowny palace out to be put in stocks and put on public display before immolation.

Who's going in undercover?

**shudders at the thought**

clowns=liquified locusts

mb

[Dislike clowns]

This place is somewhere south-ish of Martinsville, near a forestry. I guess. My girlfriend usually drives, and she loves country roads, so I'm not really sure at all. They're getting an SCM review, so if you want to swing by and see if I'm just making it up that's fine, even stop in and say hi; but DO NOT harass them, do not make any threatening or intimidating stuff to them. If you even THINK about going anywhere even remotely near them, atleast be able to pretend you like them. If you can't manage that, stay the hell away from the clowns! :o

Clown Heaven. 4792 Old State Road 37 S. Martinsville, IN 46151-9454 317-342-6888


I found this while doing a search to see if Clown Heaven actually had a site up, they don't seem to. I found out that they have an email address too; I would share it, but I know someone would use it for evil/harassment. I also discovered that there are a LOT of religious clowns. No comment.

[DownWithTheClowns]

"religious clowns" don't really seem to fit together in the same sentence does it?.. otherwise- i also will have no other comment on that....
:o

[Nauseous]

well i'd rather use the term cult. and i've met tons of this 'breed' of clown at Dairy Queens. it makes absolutely no sense at all because thinking about it makes me sick

[DownWithTheClowns]

LMAO!! yeah i don't like this topic either *shudder* too.. something, i duno lol

[Parallax]

It would be a VERY long walk to Indiana for me from my home state of North Carolina, and since that long a walk would worsen my already intense hatred of the clown peta'Q, count me in!!!

[DownWithTheClowns]

well hey Parallax- i live one state under u so it'd be an even longer walk for me coz i can't drive yet (and i can hear sum of u guys say under ur breath "thank god" heehee). and sides why would i wanna walk that long just to hate clowns more? now if i had a ride... thatd be a diff. story :wink:

[simienne]

well hey Parallax- i live one state under u so it'd be an even longer walk for me coz i can't drive yet (and i can hear sum of u guys say under ur breath "thank god" heehee). and sides why would i wanna walk that long just to hate clowns more? now if i had a ride... thatd be a diff. story :wink:

I'll meet you guys in Raleigh...! ;)

[MALICE]

this is where they have massive orgies

[Guenhwyvar]

ehe..i dont think ill be going anytime soon, ill just stay here in lovely ol' texas for a while, sitting at my computer desk awaiting the day i get off my ass and find a job, by the way.....is that blood in his mouth??>.> <.<

[DownWithTheClowns]

by the way.....is that blood in his mouth??>.> <.<

lol i dont think so, just ah...his ah.. tongue, possibly??

and another southerner, W00t!!!! :lol:

[Guenhwyvar]

maybe he dyed it to look like blood!! yeah, w007..us southerners r0cks0r ^_^

[DownWithTheClowns]

|)4|\/||\| 5+|2419+!!! {4|\||) 1337 +00. |\|111111(3!! :wink:}

hee for those of y'all who dont know 1337 heres a translation:

Damn straight! {and 1337 too, niiiiiice!!)


LMFAO

[witchiepoo]

you know google will do leet if you set it to h4x0r.
It's not quite the same, but it's about the same level as your h4x0ring abilities.

[DownWithTheClowns]

thanks, didn't know that!!

and you're back! *claps* sure, I'm a newbie, compared to you, and you mostly hate us all, but *shrug* you're still back. now, can you try and see if there's anyway to convince Rodney to clear out all these clownies? :?